i broke down in the hallway...

Sunday, November 18, 2007

6:45 PM | 2 Comments

i stared longingly at my mom's car as she drove off towards the distance.

the familiar scent of her car reminded me of home.

at that moment, i just wanted to jump into her car when she passed me my office keys.

i want to go home.

so badly that i could feel my nose turning sour.

my vision started to blur and i could hear myself sobbing.

quickly, i turned and walked back towards the foyer.

breezing through the hallway, my head was down the whole time, trying to avoid eye-contact with the people i passed by.

if anyone saw me now they must think that i'm insane, clutching a bunch of keys with teary eyes.

my day started off wrong since 1 a.m.- the very 1st hour of today.

and here i am sitting in my office feeling dead and tired.

and emo.

i hope it's the hormones,

or maybe the cut on my feet,

perhaps the sleepless night,

not forgetting the never ending work load and politics,

and the bucket of tears i shed every week.

maybe it's just me... losing grip.

to dad and mom, with love

Friday, October 26, 2007

11:29 PM | 6 Comments

is it really rewarding to have kids?

people always say that having kids might be the most wonderful experience in this whole world.

i wonder how much of that statement is true?

you feel overwhelmed when the doctor tells you that you're going to have a baby;

you get excited when the baby first kicks;

you bask in happiness when you finally cradle that tiny life form in your arms, knowing that it's part of you;

knowing that one day the baby will grow up to be just like you.

all these, so exhilirating and promising.

but i wonder how it feels...

when you first realize that your child refuses to hold your hands anymore?

when you first notice that your child is ashamed to kiss you in front of others?

when your child tells you he hates you because you won't let him hang out late with his friends?

or the lonely feeling that swallows you, when your child rathers spend time with her new boyfriend than to go to the mall with you?

honestly, i think it's difficult. it's heart-breaking.

to be given such an amazing gift, a sparkle in your life. only to know that it the light will dim someday.

and that, one day, when you least expect it, you will have to learn to let go.

that you can't protect that tiny life form you cherished so much anymore,

because now it's too big and it has its own opinions.

it doesn't want your protection anymore.

ungrateful bastards we are,

aren't we?

i feel sorry for the way i've treated my parents sometimes.

deep down inside i really love them, i hope they know that.

but sometimes, it's just so much easier to say it out in a blog than to tell them about it.

it is, so much easier here.

wednesday morning

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

7:07 PM | 3 Comments

it's 9 in the morning and i'm starring at the computer screen in my uni.

AND IT'S MY BLARDY OFF DAY!

so miserable *cries*

and my supervisor is off somewhere being interviewed by some tv station.

he forgot his appointment with me :'(

i want my BED.

GIVE ME MY BED. *pulls hair*


someone please inject endorphines into me!
i need to be happy and awake :(


9.15 a.m still brooding


9.30 a.m. blog-hopping


9.45 a.m. Jesse's telling me to stop moaning.


10 a.m. moan. stares at screen. bangs head on table.


10.30 a.m. still no news from supervisor. *sulks*


luckily, i found something entertaining-

introducing CAPTAIN MAMULA~!

he's the evil Hawaiian dictator that's controlling our country.

i adore him to bits. super super cute fella.

if you haven't read kenny sia's post One Big Fat Freaking Conspiracy, you really should.

we're being controlled by ALIENS!

the truth is out there.
*inserts eerie music*


here's something else that's entertaining:




HAHAHA. laugh with me :p

was just talking with jesse about xmas - huge trees, beautiful decos, holidays and not to forget prezzies!


i hope i'll get the money to go to s'pore for xmas this year end :/ *fingers crossed*

pizza hut's new scheme

Thursday, October 18, 2007

3:54 AM | 3 Comments

apparently pizza hut came up with a new idea to attract more customers. i was ordering pizza for dinner 5 minutes ago and this was the phone conversation:

pizza hut: hello!

me: hello!

pizza hut: thank you for calling pizza hut, you're calling from the number 78757***.

me: yep!

pizza hut: HEHEHE. i'm a bomoh.

WTH.

me: huh?

bomoh: ms chua, your address is yada yada...2 story terrace house. NGEK NGEK.

me: er....

bomoh: may i have your order please?

me: yada yada...and chicken wings.

bomoh: original or spicy?

me: original

bomoh: good choice!

major SWT.

me: u-huh...

bomoh: are you a muslim?

i thought he just called me ms chua =.="

me: what's your guess?

bomoh: hhmm...don't think so.

OBVIOUSLY.

me: ya, good guess.

bomoh: but you sound like a muslim.

me: you mean i have a malay slang?

bomoh: YES! YES!

OMG.

me: haha....

bomoh: OK! BYE BYE!

me: HUH? WAIT! how much!?

bomoh: Rm34.35.

me: OK, thanks, bye.

bomoh: i'll see you soon!

WTF.

me: haha...bye.

bomoh: bye bye! I will miss you!

me: haha....OK.

i waited for 10 seconds and the scary dude was still on the line!

me: er...bye bye.

bomoh: hehehe, byebye~

and then i hung up on him.


i wonder if pizza hut's business is so bad until they have to hire bomohs to work for them these days =.="

when you fall

Monday, March 19, 2007

12:23 AM | 0 Comments

everything was being pushed at you,
everything was given to you,
you thought it would be alright,
that pieces would fall into place.
you never faltered,
but it wasn't because you knew where you were heading.
it's because you know you can't afford to fall.
but when night comes and you're alone,
the fear consumes you over and over again,
for you see no future in your life,
but darkness that engulfs you.

can you hear me?

Sunday, April 23, 2006

9:50 AM | 2 Comments

The star that shines above me has dimmed
The path up front is paved with thorns and stones
I see neither light nor life.

My passion has died
My feelings seeping away ever so slowly
And nothing is left, but an empty shell.

Everything I touch turns to ash
Everything I love is bound to be cursed
My hopes since then, have been shattered beyond words.

I'm drifting away from my sanity
I'm losing my grip
I've become a doll, a puppet, a tool.

Through the darkness I march on
Into the waiting arms of the night sky
There I lay asleep...

Until one day,
the star awakens me.


Image courtesy of corbis.com

suffast

Friday, April 7, 2006

11:46 PM | 6 Comments

this is a long long story on my 1st ever "suffast"

it all started when kor kor suddenly walked into the kitchen 1 night and proclaimed that:
"DENGKIL CHICKEN RICE IS THE BEST!"

we all stared at him, puzzled.
not all chicken rice the same meh?
and so we started our journey in search of the dengkil chicken rice.

it was all well-planned where kor and i would sneak out to james place and then head over to dengkil together.
why must we sneak out you say?
the 1st time when we excitedly told dad and mom about our chicken rice journey,
mom pointed at me and said:

"you go out in the middle of the night manggali will rape you."

i was stunned.

then daddy pointed at kor kor and said:

"you go out in the middle of the night manggali will rob you."

double stunned.

and then we both got grounded for the night.

super potong steam.

but we never gave up.
2 days ago kor sms-ed me and said:

"we got 2 new comrades! it's time to embark on our chicken rice journey!"

and so at midnight kor crept into my room and woke me up and i quietly followed him out.

we were discussing in his room when SUDDENLY...

"WHERE YOU 2 GOING AHHH?"

po po found out about us.
oh shit.

"we go james house to play ma" explained kor. (which is the truth oso)

"WHY GO SO LATE AHHH? SO LATE VERY DANGEROUS %^#*&@(@*@&@%@%^@&@*@(@"

and so she started on manggali theory again.

but kor and i stood firm and insisted to go to james's place. then po po got angry,

"I DUN CARE LAH!" she said, and started waving her hands in the air and stomped back into her room.

quickly, kor and i tip-toed down the stairs and fumbled with the keys cause it was dark.
then we noticed that some1 else had found out about us.
standing high on the stairs with her eyes boring into us,
we knew we were in deep shit.
slowly, she descended from the stairs and strolled towards us...
kor and i stood there stiffly, afraid that she might just wake all the others and get us into super deep shit.

as she appraoched us she stopped......and licked us.
her tail-wagging excitedly hoping that we would take her along with us.
silly dog.

i had to sayang her hoping that she won't bark and give us away while kor opened the doors. once we were out we quickly headed to the gate and as my bro was about to press the button to open the gate i stopped him.

"they'll hear the gate lah"

"ya hor. then how?"

"let's climb"

"i no problem. u can or not?"

i was confident,

"can"

then kor pulled himself onto the fence that seperated us from our neighbour and started to inch towards the pillar so that he can climb over it and reach the other side. everything was going well when SUDDENLY...
the slab of rock on the pillar that my bro had 1 foot on started to TILT.

silence.

kor turned around, looked at the gate, then looked at me, and whispered:

"know what? let's use the gate."

i nodded in agreement.

so kor climbed down from the fence and we opened the gate and dashed into the car. all the while there were 2 malays sitting outside their house opposite us staring at us in awe.
they must be thinking that we're 2 siao kias.

anyway we drove over to james's place which was only less than 30 seconds walk away and his gf - kelly opened the door for us.

there, we decided it was still early cause the shop only opens at 4 a.m so we hung around and played poker.
i placed my biggest bet ever there- 50 million.
walau eh, how many times in life can you actually bet like that?
SUPER SYOK.
of course, everything is possible with monopoly currency hehe.

i was winning when we checked on the time and decided that it was time to leave.
and so at 3.30 a.m we left pj and started our long journey towards dengkil.


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the sky so dark.

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eh wait, the roads also dark.
stupid people never on the street lights.

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then there was a sign.
every body chant "chicken rice! chicken rice! chicken rice!"

down the winding paths and super straight highways, we finally reached our final destination - dengkil.
when we reached the boss was just opening his stall so our timing was perfect!

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we were the 1st customers. the whole town was alseep.

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so hungry....

and then food came!!

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the famous dengkil chicken rice and zhu tou pi (literally, pig head skin)with cups of hot milos. YUM YUM! *drool*

we get to choose which part of the chicken we wanted (damn syok), and when he took out the chicken you could see that it was still steaming.
the secret of success = fresh!

we were happily eating and yakking away. the chicken's super delicious and i love the quiet atmosphere of the place. while we were eating, in came a mommy cat and her baby kitten roaming around seaching for food. they kept us company while we were there :)

after filling our tummys, we decided to head home to our darling beds.
we paid for our food and it was super cheap! a plate of chicken rice plus hot milo only 4 bucks leh.

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"on your left you see the balai bomba"
"on your right is the MMU campus"
"people, we are now heading to dengkil"
tour guide and driver for the day - kor kor

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the 2 love birds james and kelly.

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wa it's already 5.18 a.m! so late i mean so early d.

i crashed onto my bed once i reached home and only woke up at 12 this afternoon.

and if you guys were wondering what suffast means,

supper + breakfast= suffast

the whole trip was fun cause it's been a long time since i did something fun with my bro and we had great company plus yummy food :)

and so in conclusion,

DENGKIL CHICKEN RICE ROX MY SOX!

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