it's amazing how simple words can be used to attack a person.
when i was in high school, there was once my friend approached me with a sly smile and told me:
"you're pretty"
i was shocked by his sudden statement.
when i wanted to reply him, he then added:
"ugly."
string the words together: you're pretty, ugly.
imagine how i felt then.
it was meant to be a joke but try to imagine all the mixed feelings i felt once i heard his statement - humiliation, shame, sadness.
if it wasn't a joke my self-esteem would have plunged straight down to the pit.
after that, the boys repeated this trick on every girl they met just to see the reactions of the girls...
sickos.
these kind of situations are not rare.
another example would be like:
"you have beautiful blue eyes, but are they fake?"
so tell me, is the person being praised or do you sense sarcasm?
these are what we call put-down statements; specially designed to attack your poor little heart.
in class, i learned that such statements usually come from parents.
surprised?
examples:
I don't understand why you do these things.
How could someone with your brains and background do such a thing?
You should know how i'm suffering.
You never tell me what you're thinking.
Oh good, you did your homework today. Why didn't you do your homework last week?
don't all these sound so familiar??
i bet it does.
my personal favourite from my mom:
"You can ask me any word you don't understand from your english exercises."
when i tried to ask her, she YELLED at me:
"Why do you have to ask me? EAT the DICTIONARY!"
how helpful of her.
apparently i was disturbing her while she was watching wah lai toi.
so back in my class, my lecturer made us brainstorm ways to alter the statements.
it's simple, all you have to do is to be polite and not directly blame the kid for the mess.
instead, try telling the kid how you felt because of what he/she did. use the "i statement"
examples:
I think what you did was for a good reason, but i don't understand why. So could you try explaining it to me?
I felt worried when you took the car last night without informing me.
I would love it if you would share your thoughts,
I feel confused about the situation, could you help me understand?
I'm happy you finished your homework today. Keep up the good work.
see, easy-peasy right?
if parents would only try to be polite and understanding, their children will surely listen and trust in them.
well, sad to say but this also applies to all of us as well.
if you've said such things to people close to you before, try to change.
it won't kill to be polite, will it?
i had just suffered from another extreme laughing disorder two days ago, hehehe.
this time all credits shall be given to khang, whose lame jokes i could never resist.
on friday night, we had a yum cha session to celebrate jia yee's bday.
khang offered to fetch so i lazed around on my bed until i suddenly got a miss call from him. i thought he was low on credit so i called back.
me:"apa sal?"
khang:"eh? you not going meh?"
me:"GOING! ..................why?"
khang:"I'm infront of your house now la!!"
me:"shoot!"
quickly, i sprang up and stuffed my purse and tissues into a hand bag, grabbed my handphone, combed my hair, packed up some mags that were scattered on my bed, and finally 1 last look in the mirror, turned off the lights and ran down the stairs. (khang dear, tat's why i took so long la hehe)
when i was finally in the car,
khang was like:"what took you so long to walk down the stairs?"
and i replied:"had to look for shoes ma." (eh, this is true. i just fast forwarded the whole story hehe)
after that khang kept going on about me knowing him for so long but still didn't understand what his miss calls meant and bla and bla and bla. we were heading to wurn's place and khang signalled left after turning into the next street and kept going.
i thought that it was still early to have signalled cause the junction we were looking for was at the end of the road, but no harm done so i kept on talking with khang until suddenly, he swerved into the WRONG junction.
me:"eh, you notice we turned in the wrong junction ah?"
khang:"yes." *grinning*
me:"you know?"
khang:"ya"
me:"then why did you turn?"
khang:"cause before that i don't know." *smiles innocently*
-_-"
me:"then why didn't you ask me?"
khang:"cause you didn't say anything ma"
*pause*
me:"ya hor."
both make eye contact.
both:"wakakakkakakakakaka!"
yes, we sound like lunatics.
wurn laughed so hard when we told her about it.
when we reached jia yee's(curry) place, like me, she turned off her room lights first but took quite a long time before she appeared outside of the house.
and so khang came up with all these theories about curry turning off the lights cause she couldn't find her handphone and had to use the dark to search for the shining and ringing source and when she found her phone it was too dark for her to see so she had to grope around for her keys, and when she found her keys she had to search for her purse in the dark.
it's damn crappy and you should really hear the original version from khang.
you'll feel like wacking him with a frying pan keke.
it's so lame but yet so funny.
we decided to have our gathering in ss2's SOD.
there, khang started to go bizzare again and this time the menu was his target.
he divided the names of the foods into 3 words a slot and read each word loudly and slowly each time.
so my poor SOD special mango pudding became like this:
seK hOu deK~! dAk zhAi mOng~!!! goU bO DinG~~!!
*louder pronounciation for capital letters. :p
there are many versions i tell you.
it sounded like a strangled cat trying to speak english in a very high pitched voice.
this really cracked us up and heads turned around to stare at us.
oh ya, for the peeps that might be having their meals at SOD.
here are some interesting facts about their adjoining seats:
- there's a gap around the butt area that allows you to see the sexy butt of the person sitting behind you.
- you can actually reach to the other side and grab the other person's butt.
- if the person behind you has a habit of shaking his legs, you'll be having your meal during an earthquake.
- if you banged your head on the sit, the person behind you would be banged on the other side.
- if the butt behinds you wriggles, you'll hear some farting sound. in most cases, FEEL the fart as well.
- if he really farts, ditch your food and run for your life.
well, bon appetit!
this time all credits shall be given to khang, whose lame jokes i could never resist.
on friday night, we had a yum cha session to celebrate jia yee's bday.
khang offered to fetch so i lazed around on my bed until i suddenly got a miss call from him. i thought he was low on credit so i called back.
me:"apa sal?"
khang:"eh? you not going meh?"
me:"GOING! ..................why?"
khang:"I'm infront of your house now la!!"
me:"shoot!"
quickly, i sprang up and stuffed my purse and tissues into a hand bag, grabbed my handphone, combed my hair, packed up some mags that were scattered on my bed, and finally 1 last look in the mirror, turned off the lights and ran down the stairs. (khang dear, tat's why i took so long la hehe)
when i was finally in the car,
khang was like:"what took you so long to walk down the stairs?"
and i replied:"had to look for shoes ma." (eh, this is true. i just fast forwarded the whole story hehe)
after that khang kept going on about me knowing him for so long but still didn't understand what his miss calls meant and bla and bla and bla. we were heading to wurn's place and khang signalled left after turning into the next street and kept going.
i thought that it was still early to have signalled cause the junction we were looking for was at the end of the road, but no harm done so i kept on talking with khang until suddenly, he swerved into the WRONG junction.
me:"eh, you notice we turned in the wrong junction ah?"
khang:"yes." *grinning*
me:"you know?"
khang:"ya"
me:"then why did you turn?"
khang:"cause before that i don't know." *smiles innocently*
-_-"
me:"then why didn't you ask me?"
khang:"cause you didn't say anything ma"
*pause*
me:"ya hor."
both make eye contact.
both:"wakakakkakakakakaka!"
yes, we sound like lunatics.
wurn laughed so hard when we told her about it.
when we reached jia yee's(curry) place, like me, she turned off her room lights first but took quite a long time before she appeared outside of the house.
and so khang came up with all these theories about curry turning off the lights cause she couldn't find her handphone and had to use the dark to search for the shining and ringing source and when she found her phone it was too dark for her to see so she had to grope around for her keys, and when she found her keys she had to search for her purse in the dark.
it's damn crappy and you should really hear the original version from khang.
you'll feel like wacking him with a frying pan keke.
it's so lame but yet so funny.
we decided to have our gathering in ss2's SOD.
there, khang started to go bizzare again and this time the menu was his target.
he divided the names of the foods into 3 words a slot and read each word loudly and slowly each time.
so my poor SOD special mango pudding became like this:
seK hOu deK~! dAk zhAi mOng~!!! goU bO DinG~~!!
*louder pronounciation for capital letters. :p
there are many versions i tell you.
it sounded like a strangled cat trying to speak english in a very high pitched voice.
this really cracked us up and heads turned around to stare at us.
oh ya, for the peeps that might be having their meals at SOD.
here are some interesting facts about their adjoining seats:
- there's a gap around the butt area that allows you to see the sexy butt of the person sitting behind you.
- you can actually reach to the other side and grab the other person's butt.
- if the person behind you has a habit of shaking his legs, you'll be having your meal during an earthquake.
- if you banged your head on the sit, the person behind you would be banged on the other side.
- if the butt behinds you wriggles, you'll hear some farting sound. in most cases, FEEL the fart as well.
- if he really farts, ditch your food and run for your life.
well, bon appetit!
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