life is getting sadder by the minute

Monday, November 19, 2007

6:18 PM | 4 Comments

sorry if i scared you with my previous post.

a girl can be emo. tee hee.

internship is gonna end in another week! (SO HAPPY!)

throughout these 3 months i've seen and learn alot from both places. what really upsets me is the politics at work =.=

there were complaints about me being LCLY and not doing my job.

DAMN SPEECHLESS.

there was a big hoo haa and i thank god people who know me realized that that statement could never be me.

just damn disappointed with the one who started this. i wander what's wrong with the fella =.=

let's hope there's karma.

now i'm interning full time in my uni's clinic for the last few weeks and the patients are streaming in...which means workload is increasing *stress*

so far i've had the chance to assess brain injury patients and children too. which gives me a better perspective of what i'm getting into in the future. it also helps polish up my knowledge on things because i have to read up on things like brain anatomy, the functions of amygdala, hippocampus..etc, which lobe controls speech, what kind of children disorders are there...yada yada.

it's overwhelming.

i feel like my life has been filled up with brains and scary kids these past few weeks T___T

NNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

i wanna go SEXPO like suelin or dress up for halloween parties like joey!

i know work life is also life but it still feels like i have no life anymore.

you get what i mean? :(

I AM YOUNG AND FULL OF ENERGY BUT GLUED TO AN OFFICE CHAIR!

sangat sad.

and when i'm sad i go for retail therapy.

which leads me to my next problem...

i'm broke :(

which leads me to my solution...

i'm working in december. in starhill for a watch and jewellery exhibition.

ENDLESS STREAM OF WORK~

i need sayang :'(

i broke down in the hallway...

Sunday, November 18, 2007

6:45 PM | 2 Comments

i stared longingly at my mom's car as she drove off towards the distance.

the familiar scent of her car reminded me of home.

at that moment, i just wanted to jump into her car when she passed me my office keys.

i want to go home.

so badly that i could feel my nose turning sour.

my vision started to blur and i could hear myself sobbing.

quickly, i turned and walked back towards the foyer.

breezing through the hallway, my head was down the whole time, trying to avoid eye-contact with the people i passed by.

if anyone saw me now they must think that i'm insane, clutching a bunch of keys with teary eyes.

my day started off wrong since 1 a.m.- the very 1st hour of today.

and here i am sitting in my office feeling dead and tired.

and emo.

i hope it's the hormones,

or maybe the cut on my feet,

perhaps the sleepless night,

not forgetting the never ending work load and politics,

and the bucket of tears i shed every week.

maybe it's just me... losing grip.

to dad and mom, with love

Friday, October 26, 2007

11:29 PM | 6 Comments

is it really rewarding to have kids?

people always say that having kids might be the most wonderful experience in this whole world.

i wonder how much of that statement is true?

you feel overwhelmed when the doctor tells you that you're going to have a baby;

you get excited when the baby first kicks;

you bask in happiness when you finally cradle that tiny life form in your arms, knowing that it's part of you;

knowing that one day the baby will grow up to be just like you.

all these, so exhilirating and promising.

but i wonder how it feels...

when you first realize that your child refuses to hold your hands anymore?

when you first notice that your child is ashamed to kiss you in front of others?

when your child tells you he hates you because you won't let him hang out late with his friends?

or the lonely feeling that swallows you, when your child rathers spend time with her new boyfriend than to go to the mall with you?

honestly, i think it's difficult. it's heart-breaking.

to be given such an amazing gift, a sparkle in your life. only to know that it the light will dim someday.

and that, one day, when you least expect it, you will have to learn to let go.

that you can't protect that tiny life form you cherished so much anymore,

because now it's too big and it has its own opinions.

it doesn't want your protection anymore.

ungrateful bastards we are,

aren't we?

i feel sorry for the way i've treated my parents sometimes.

deep down inside i really love them, i hope they know that.

but sometimes, it's just so much easier to say it out in a blog than to tell them about it.

it is, so much easier here.

wednesday morning

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

7:07 PM | 3 Comments

it's 9 in the morning and i'm starring at the computer screen in my uni.

AND IT'S MY BLARDY OFF DAY!

so miserable *cries*

and my supervisor is off somewhere being interviewed by some tv station.

he forgot his appointment with me :'(

i want my BED.

GIVE ME MY BED. *pulls hair*


someone please inject endorphines into me!
i need to be happy and awake :(


9.15 a.m still brooding


9.30 a.m. blog-hopping


9.45 a.m. Jesse's telling me to stop moaning.


10 a.m. moan. stares at screen. bangs head on table.


10.30 a.m. still no news from supervisor. *sulks*


luckily, i found something entertaining-

introducing CAPTAIN MAMULA~!

he's the evil Hawaiian dictator that's controlling our country.

i adore him to bits. super super cute fella.

if you haven't read kenny sia's post One Big Fat Freaking Conspiracy, you really should.

we're being controlled by ALIENS!

the truth is out there.
*inserts eerie music*


here's something else that's entertaining:




HAHAHA. laugh with me :p

was just talking with jesse about xmas - huge trees, beautiful decos, holidays and not to forget prezzies!


i hope i'll get the money to go to s'pore for xmas this year end :/ *fingers crossed*

pizza hut's new scheme

Thursday, October 18, 2007

3:54 AM | 3 Comments

apparently pizza hut came up with a new idea to attract more customers. i was ordering pizza for dinner 5 minutes ago and this was the phone conversation:

pizza hut: hello!

me: hello!

pizza hut: thank you for calling pizza hut, you're calling from the number 78757***.

me: yep!

pizza hut: HEHEHE. i'm a bomoh.

WTH.

me: huh?

bomoh: ms chua, your address is yada yada...2 story terrace house. NGEK NGEK.

me: er....

bomoh: may i have your order please?

me: yada yada...and chicken wings.

bomoh: original or spicy?

me: original

bomoh: good choice!

major SWT.

me: u-huh...

bomoh: are you a muslim?

i thought he just called me ms chua =.="

me: what's your guess?

bomoh: hhmm...don't think so.

OBVIOUSLY.

me: ya, good guess.

bomoh: but you sound like a muslim.

me: you mean i have a malay slang?

bomoh: YES! YES!

OMG.

me: haha....

bomoh: OK! BYE BYE!

me: HUH? WAIT! how much!?

bomoh: Rm34.35.

me: OK, thanks, bye.

bomoh: i'll see you soon!

WTF.

me: haha...bye.

bomoh: bye bye! I will miss you!

me: haha....OK.

i waited for 10 seconds and the scary dude was still on the line!

me: er...bye bye.

bomoh: hehehe, byebye~

and then i hung up on him.


i wonder if pizza hut's business is so bad until they have to hire bomohs to work for them these days =.="

when you fall

Monday, March 19, 2007

12:23 AM | 0 Comments

everything was being pushed at you,
everything was given to you,
you thought it would be alright,
that pieces would fall into place.
you never faltered,
but it wasn't because you knew where you were heading.
it's because you know you can't afford to fall.
but when night comes and you're alone,
the fear consumes you over and over again,
for you see no future in your life,
but darkness that engulfs you.

About

animals. dancing. food. friends. shopping. travelling. all the things she likes. and everything about her.