the first day of form three was not a day to look forward to.
i was afraid. nervous. nerve-wrecked.
why am i being pooled together with these bunch of geniuses?
how i landed in a class of champions, i have no idea. maths wizards, modern Shakespeares and walking dictionaries filled my class.
frantic, i looked left and right in search of a familiar face.
that's when i saw you.
"shall we sit together?" you asked timidly with a smile.
your first words to me that year brought the first smile to my face at the beginning of the semester too.
and that was how we begin our journey of a year sitting next to each other.
given the difference in our intelligence level i guess i was pretty lucky to have you beside me in the best class. i remember thinking to myself that you're inhuman. how can one study so hard and score like you. you were my best reference source...and as time passed you became my best friend too.
i remember the time when you told me Kelly was your favourite singer and we both marveled at her MTVs
i remember how you would cry to me when xu bullied you all the time
i remember the time when a bee flew in and you pushed my chair with me on it to the other end of the classroom
i remember how you always told me you would mix milo with nescafe every night before exams just to stay up late to memorize all the texts
i remember the time you cried because you carelessly missed out a page in our maths exam. i thought it was silly, but strangely i wanted to cry together too.
i remember how you would always have the right answers to every question
i remember how we always waited after class together to go for house practice
we both sucked at exercise. i thought at least that was the one thing we had in common.
i remember how you were the only one who would sit with me in class patiently and assisted me with my tuition homework
i remember the time i scored and you cheered for me
i definitely remembered the time when i sneaked a bite in class and the teacher called upon me, the next thing i know you stood up and answered every question directed to me and ended up being scolded by the teacher because she said she didn't call your name.
i remember...remember...and desperately try to remember
everything about us. everything about you.
your smile, the way your hair is naturally golden brown, your laughter...everything is still etched deep inside my memories.
and here i am, clawing...grasping on to every single memory i had with you.
i thought we had the chance to create more. i thought the scholarship would only part you from us for the time being. i thought the dwindling phone calls was a phase of life when everyone's too busy.
and now i can't get to you anymore.
how i wish that the phone will ring and the caller ID will tell me you're back for holidays again
how i wish we could catch up on old times
how i wish we could talk about our dreams and the boys we liked.
how i wish that we could just speak again.
im sorry i wasn't there.
im sorry for the pain you went through.
im sorry i allowed time to distance us.
im sorry i took your existence for granted.
i miss you. so badly it hurts.
my heart aches you left like this.
i would have given my everything to protect whatever is it that was hurting you.
now you're gone...
and i'm left here wondering what could have been.
wherever you are dearest Shyn Lyn, i wish you love...and peace.
you will always be remembered in my heart. forever and always.
goodbye, my friend.
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4 comments:
So sorry to hear this =(
thanks sue..
and im amazed u still come by when it's been so dead ><
im such a trrible upkeeper lol
Your dedication was beautiful. Sorry for your loss
ehhh! since when u dah jadi susan?? LOL!
joey: thank u for reading =) and thank u for the kind words *hugs*
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